Photo by Gilbert Sape

 

A Ceremony is a day, a partnership is a lifetime

I offer packages of 8 weeks of 60-minute pre-commitment/ premarital counseling sessions for $640 (an $850 value) to provide you with the most current research and tools you will need to lay the foundation for a long and satisfying marriage or life partnership. Using the world-renowned Gottman Method, I help you and your partner learn how to avoid the 4 Horsemen of Failed Relationships and how to apply the 7 Principles for Making Relationships Work into your own relationship. I describe the scientific and evidence-based Gottman Method here.

These counseling sessions are secular and non-religious, and I welcome all worldviews and cultural backgrounds. LGBTQIA and polyamorous couples are welcomed and encouraged to participate. Payment plans are available. Not getting married but want to prepare for life commitment? You can definitely participate. (Note: This program is not suitable for couples experiencing current domestic violence or addictions; if these are an issue, please contact me for a referral for more specialized therapy.)

 What you will learn:

  • How breakup is predicted
  • Identify how to manage conflict
  • Negotiate needs and boundaries
  • Repairing and replacing unproductive communication
  • Discuss future goals
  • Nurture fondness and admiration
  • Turn toward each other instead of away
  • Let your partner influence you
  • Solve solvable problems
  • Cope with typical solvable problems
    • Finances, budgeting and long-term goals
    • Housework: negotiating a shared space
    • Future dreams and goals: Where to live, careers, travel
    • Do you both want children? Parenting expectations and roles
    • Sex and porn, what is acceptable, desirable or negotiable in the relationship for intimacy and closeness?
    • Relationships with in-laws: leaving one family unit and forming your own
    • Coping with daily stress and electronic distractions
  • Overcome gridlocked problems
    • Continuous areas of disagreement
    • Understanding each other on a deeper level 
    • Family histories, personalities and traumas that affect you most deeply
  • Create shared meaning and rituals of connection for a stronger future
  • Understanding one's emotional experiences and how they contribute to needs in the relationship
Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.
— Ursula K. Le Guin

WHY pre-commitment COUNSELING IS THE BEST planning YOU CAN do

Premarital counseling is one of the most invaluable investments you can give to your life commitment. So many people wait years into their relationship to tackle tough issues that have come up along the way and remain barriers to relationship satisfaction. By this time, resentment has built up which must be tackled before solutions can even be discussed. Why not be proactive and skip the headache, and the danger of putting your relationship at risk?

Instead, set the foundation for a strong, smart relationship by using research-proven ways of communication, conflict management, power negotiation and discussion of important issues so that you can develop a healthy system of relating and connecting. Not only will pre-commitment counseling help you prevent unproductive ways of relating with your spouse, but most importantly it will begin a trend of building healthy and mutually satisfying habits that include fondness, admiration, appreciation and friendship.